The following document was found pinned to corpse of an engineer…with a knife. It has been edited to remove a number of the fiercest insults and due to a considerable blood stain. Engineers are advised by AETA leadership to read this at their own risk. Readers should be knowledgeable of the clear bias and unfounded opinions expressed in the following summary of Engineering tools, skill and general play. 

My Dear Engineers,

Salutations.  This is Wormwood, Leader of the Guild of Thieves…

Over the past three days, I have been amongst your kind, Engineers.  In order to better understand you, and perhaps even find someway to overcome you, I have studied your tool, your weapons, and your equipment.  Somewhat surprisingly, I have to admit gaining some grudging admiration for you ingenuity and inventiveness, and because of this, I feel strangely driven to let you know what I have found.

I realize many of the men and women I work with are far from polite, but as a gentleman, I will start with the good. Upon first realizing that I had, in fact, trapped myself with a crowd of engineers for an entire weekend, I felt a familiar urge to turn to drink. Finding a crate of bottles marked only by letters like H, U, R, and S, I assumed they were liquor.  I was clearly wrong, though I did feel more courageous, in much the same way.

As I questioned a number of your alchemists, I was more and more impressed by the utility and power of a number of these elixirs. Elixir H was my favorite means of healing,  and creating a tonic of Elixirs B and U provide particularly deadly (Also tasted like a fine brandy I once had…). Being able to fire Pistol shots while under the effects of quickness, all benefiting from Might and Fury , can bring down just about anything with real quickness. Still, not quite as satisfying, personally, as Unloading a truly ludicrous number of lead bullets into the hide of an enemy, but one can’t always be choosy….

Speaking of Pistols, I was particularly pleased with the Engineer’s own way of wielding two Pistols at once.  While the Rifle was a reliable weapon (with some excellent ways to slow enemies and give yourself some mobility) and the Shield was a weapon of clear potential, I was drawn to the Pistols like a moth to flame. I needed some comfort while amongst enemies. I was not disappointed.

Yet, while there were a few things I could admire amongst the ranks of the engineers, there were other elements of your…profession… that I found lacking.  Principle among these complaint was your use of  ‘weapon kits’. I was confused when many of the engineers around me confessed that they, in fact, did not  switch weapons in combat. At first I thought this was simply a matter of preference, but when I learned it was a ‘mechanical’ issue, I was deeply disappointed.  Some of the kits were quite nice, in particular the Tool Kit (which I was quite fond of) and the Flamethrower (I must admit a lack of experience with this kit, though I could clearly see its true potential to induce fear and terror, particularly to the Sylvari…).  The Grenade Kit seemed incredibly underpowered, noticeably so. While the Med Kit seemed fair, I don’t understand why an Eengineer would devote himself to using it enough to forgo a gun, be it rifle or pistol. The Elixir Gun, while a wonderful alternative to a lava lamp, lacks punch in my opinion. It has definite use as a form of group healing, but I tend to let other rely on themselves for that, rather than actually designate a healer… That seems so, outdated.

Your gadgets, while they might be impressive to a wide-eyed child, seem far too specific to be highly considered.  I saw one particular engineer use a Personal Battering Ram to great effect, but saw this only a few times. It really had only one purpose; hitting someone hard enough to knock them off their feet. This is quite useful in certain situations, but it does not seem to have a wide range of uses.  Similarly, the Utility Goggles, which are incredibly fashionable, make you immune to blindness. But how often do you meet a basilisk in the woods? The speed boost granted by your Slick Shoes is grand, but the spray of oil behind you is rather situational. 

Finally, your turrets. These more than anything illustrate my reservations with your tactics.

THEY DON”T MOVE!! Sure, you can pick them up and move them, or blow them up in an enemies face (I hardily applaud whoever thought this up). Yet, they seem fairly stationary. They are designed to hold a zone and defend.  Turrets, Bomb kits, Elixir guns, they all seem so reactionary. Embrace the attack!

I’m sure a number of you, as you read this now, are yelling “ He clearly  didn’t read the manual” or “He didn’t spend enough time calibrating the what’s-it-ma-thingy”.

To you I say this…

<<This Section of the Letter has been Censored by the AETA Board for Civility and Morality.>>

Nevertheless, I must admit grudging admiration for your profession as a whole. I’ve never seen a better group of defenders. Your type is able to hold a point better then we Thieves ever could. While we rely on quick movements and mobility, you stand your ground. We act; You react. I am both impressed and pleased. This means you’ll be in one place, and we’ll get the first move…

 

Sorry about the mess, and give Tentral my regards,

W