It goes without saying, but we’ll say it anyway, because we aren’t all that bright when it comes to using catchphrases: the Silly and Stupid columns had a small interruption in the last couple weeks, and we want to tell you what happened that lead to this dramatic incident. We hope we don’t break any NDAs by talking about the following happenings, so here goes:
Two weeks ago, Silly and Stupid co-conspirators MouseBurglar and HAPPYcat (you know… the writers of this fantastic, Pulitzer prize-candidate column) were discussing the upcoming articles via Skype when we both heard knocks at our doors at the same time. It bears mentioning that we live in totally different continents, so when we opened the doors, each of us were shocked and perhaps a bit amused to each be greeted by three sturdy characters with “Golem Security” on their chests. Next we remember, we were in a small musty cell. We were certainly kidnapped, though for what reason we weren’t totally clear.
After several hours of self-inflicted knock knock joke-related injuries, we discovered that our jailors were none other than ArenaNet employees. It seems like they suspected us of being undercover agents of some other… unnamed… MMO company intentionally trying to sabotage the GW2 community by writing about fake products and ridiculous game suggestions. Despite federal laws and social norms established by every man and woman’s expectation of human decency, the next ten days saw us doing our best to convince our jailors that we are loyal members of the GW2 community.
In short, we had to recite every Quaggan joke known to mankind – this of course proved to be no problem whatsoever – but being forced to enjoy the Quaggan cuisine (as in, the Quaggan were the cuisine) was a bit of a larger problem. But we can’t tell you about that, because we were forced to sign an NDA in blood as they released us, promising to never disclose that ArenaNet employees eat Quaggans for lunch or that the game is slated to come out on August 28, we think this year. We can’t wait until the general public knows when Guild Wars 2 will be released, and it’s tough not telling you because of the NDA.
But in any case, we’re back, as disappointing at that may be for some of you. We’d share with you the details of our escape, which may or may not have involved [editor's note: removed the secrets. Why did I ever let these guys write for me?], but we signed a blood oath saying we wouldn’t.
So, what would you like to see from us? Pictures of our Quaggan feast? A three-month subscription to Krytan Monthly? Evidence that the United States faked the moon landing? Let us know in the comment section below!
Something Silly and Something Stupid is an alternating weekly column written by GWI staff MouseBurglar and HAPPYcat. This week, both writers collaborated for the contents of the column, which are intended to be humorous and shouldn’t be taken seriously.